True Life

The other day in the gym I watched an episode of MTV's True Life. The topic was stutterers. They followed a young girl in Pittsburgh, a beauty queen in New York, and a speech pathologist graduate student in Morgantown. Yes. Morgantown. As in, WV.

I was pretty amped because:

A) It's Morgantown. I'm happy when Morgantown gets a little attention (but please don't let it entice too many people to move there) and I figured I'd get to see some of my favorite places from home on TV. That seems like a pretty sweet deal when you're homesick.

B) The dude was a speech pathology student and I used to do work study for a professor there, Dr. Ken St. Louis. (Man, working for Ken St. Louis is a story in and of itself.)

Anyway, it was clear that the audience was supposed to feel really bad for the guy in Morgantown because his stutter prevented him from getting a job. He'd call up to ask if someone was hiring but the person on the other end would hang up on him. They showed his bare refrigerator and how he made a sandwich and then realized that the bread was moldy and had to throw it out. They showed him talking to his landlord about why his rent was a month late. Aww. I mean, it's so sad tha...

Huh?

What?

Wait.

Where does this guy live again?

Oh snap, he's living in Chateau Royale! (If you're not from Morgantown, let me assure you that that's really the name of this apartment complex.)

What kind of fucking idiot lives in Chateau Royale and then complains that they can't pay their rent? Oh, that's right. This moron is from out of state. He's so stupid that he thinks he's getting a good deal living there.

That pretty much did it for me. I felt no sympathy for this dude who was paying at least twice as much as any person should pay for living in WV. Idiot.

Plus, he kept being picky about the jobs he was being offered. Boston Beanery in Evansdale offered him a job in the kitchen but he wouldn't take it. He said he couldn't pay his rent on that kind of money.

Hello! McFly! Is anyone home? You're already not paying your rent, asshole. Jeebus.

But no, this nozzle wanted to be a bartender or a server. Something where he could make tips. Woe is him that his stutter makes it hard for him to provide good service and makes potential customers feel uncomfortable. Seriously, I want my bartenders and servers blending into the background and not sticking out in any way that could ruin or interrupt my evening and employers know that.

Is it unfortunate that he has trouble finding the work he wants for such a silly reason? Maybe.

But it sure as hell isn't sad or unusual. I mean, I want to be a fucking model but it turns out that I'm only 5'2" tall and thick like a rhino. Some people. I swear.